Who needs this Internet thing anyways?

People are calling me a liar, they can be so mean. I didn't lie ... well I didn't think I'd get caught anyways. Now everybody is twittering, like the annoying little birds they are. I try to delete them but they just won't stop, this whole Internet thing is just such a bother. I hear my friend Obama is going to get an Internet kill switch, maybe he'll let me use it sometimes.