Tuesday, December 21, 2010

I thought they were comps ...

Hey, I got some tickets in the mail and was going out on a date tonight to see that new play 'Homegrown'. I think it's about good honest cowboys growing up in rural Alberta or something.

Funny my secretary said that maybe I should catch a movie instead ... I wonder if 'How do you know' is still playing?

Thursday, December 16, 2010

A fly on the CPC wall ...

Hello? Oh hi, hey thanks for those T-shirts. But .. but .. Mr. American media lobbyist, we really did try to pass the legislation you demanded. Is it our fault that the opposition parties smelt blood? Umm no, we can't ask our committees to put in a full work week. An election coming up? Yes that could put a damper on things. What was that? Well, I think shooting professors is against our bill of rights ...

Monday, November 29, 2010

What's that dripping sound?

Oh my greatness! What is up with all this leaking, can't anyone call a plumber? And what does a leaking wiki have to do with my legislation .. oh, wait it's an information leak? Is it just dripping or is it oozing? Gushing ... that doesn't sound good. What's the leaky stuff made of anyways ... What!? Really? I had better push up my condo purchase down in Malibu, I might be moving.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010


What the futz happened? ACTA was the grand scheme to bring all the people of the world into alignment with the truth. My Bill C-32 was a reflection of that and those ninnies down south just decided to cave? Boy, am I mad. All those promises they made me, are they going to cave on those too? Even after that great speech I made about all the disbelievers?

Boy, I bet Preston never had it this hard.

Monday, July 26, 2010


Ok, I'm a little grumpy today. First Tony has to show off and rescue some drowning people, like I wouldn't have dove in had I had the chance. Man he get's all the breaks! I'm sure glad my bill C-32 is all tied up, I don't have to worry about making changes cause everyone opposed to it are just radicals & extremists. Life here at the lake would be great except for that annoying twitter thing. People say the craziest things ... next thing they'll be telling me is the US government is going to allow jail-broken phones and copying DVDs, haha .. like that's gonna happen.

Now, maybe if I hang around here for the summer I can save some tourists too, now that would be an awesome tweet!

Monday, July 19, 2010

Uh, Oh!

Remember I told you about the nice people down south who have been helping me compose Bill C-32? Well they promised it would have all the same stuff as that ACTA thing and everyone would be happy. So I thought, hey, why not just get this copyright law out now and relax over the Summer. Kinda like my first slam dunk of the season (I like shooting hoops out behind the commons cafeteria .. I'm kinda radical to the extreme). But I just heard the ACTA thing is falling apart, not everyone wants to play on the team. And now I'm stuck holding the ball.

Friday, July 2, 2010

I had a strange Dream

You know that old movie, "It's a wonderful life"? Boy, I sure do like James Stewart, what a great name, he kind of reminds me of me. Anyways I dreamed I was in the movie, Mr. Potter was one of those friendly media lobbyists, Michael Geist was an angel and I was James of course. In the end it all left me a little confused but I think I better have another look at Bill C-32 in the morning.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Parody !?

I can't believe it, someone has posted a parody of me on YouTube. I know my bill says parody is OK but I don't think against politicians, right? This crazy video has me sitting in a bunker with a bunch of people in suits, it doesn't even look like me, I don't have a mustache.

OK, someone told me this is supposed to be Hitler. How dare they associate me with him? What do I have have in common with fascists? (I had to look that word up on Wikipedia)

It says, "Fascists seek to organize a nation on corporatist perspectives, values, and systems such as the political system and the economy."

Now, I'm not doing anything like that, if fact ... oh ... wait ........ damn.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Twitter, twitter, twitter ...

So weirdo calling himself 'FakeJamesMoore' just tried to follow me on twitter, the nerve! But I blocked him, now he will never bother me again! I do that for everyone I disagree with, it makes life so much simpler.

Who needs this Internet thing anyways?

People are calling me a liar, they can be so mean. I didn't lie ... well I didn't think I'd get caught anyways. Now everybody is twittering, like the annoying little birds they are. I try to delete them but they just won't stop, this whole Internet thing is just such a bother. I hear my friend Obama is going to get an Internet kill switch, maybe he'll let me use it sometimes.

Damn secret cameras

I had a real great speech today, everyone clapped at the end and everything. I might of got a little bit carried away, but I sounded so good (that talk a lot thing is really working out for me). Problem is someone who is not a buddy of mine had a camera and well ... he told. But I'll just huddle everyone up so no one else says anything. No one reads those tech blogs anyways.

Heh, problem solved

No Problem, my friends who send me all those nice letters said they would never deny legitimate customers their rights. Whew, I feel better. But they warned me not to listen to anyone but them cause everyone else are radical to the extreme.

What do I do now?

Someone, some 'hooty tooty' professor type I think, pointed out to me there may be a problem with my copyright bill. Apparently all those fair use things I put in there to make people happy can be taken away if copyright owners put a lock on their stuff. I'm sure they wouldn't do that, but I better ask them and make sure.

Not so good day

I tried that switching USA for Canada thing but people are not buying it. No wonder, it didn't work for the Conference Board of Canada either. I feel sorry for all my buddies over there. Oh well, the public have such short memories, they will forget about it. I think I might even get away with citing them as defenders of the Canadian consumer one day (Heh, ya right).

This is harder than I thought

Stephen was not all up front with me, he said this job would be a challenge, but this is ridiculous. Make Canadians believe we are promoting "Made in Canada solutions", he said. Maybe if I use this word processor to replace every mention of "USA" with "Canada" (can it do that?) no one will notice.

You won't believe what I just got!

Mom, Preston, guess what Stephen gave me? My own Minsitership (is that a real word)? I get to be in charge of Canadian Heritage. Now I can promote the fair mindedness and ingenuity of Canadians to the world. I can safeguard our unique views and history of tolerance. I can protect our culture and values from those who would impose their own upon us.

Got a even cooler job now

Wow, I just got a newer job. I get to talk in the house of commons, I hope people like me. Not sure what to say, maybe if I just talk a lot I'll sound smart. Good thing I got all those degrees. Thanks for believing in me Preston.

Just landed a cool job

Wow, I just got a new job. I get to talk on the radio, I hope people like me. Not sure what to say, maybe if I just talk a lot I'll sound smart. Good thing I got all those degrees. Thanks for believing in me Mom.

My Life Begins

I knew as soon as the light of day passed before my eyes for the first time that I was bound for greatness. Little did that nurse know she was holding a 6.8 lb future Heritage Minister in her palms.